An idle brain on Youtube

With nothing else to keep my mind active right now, here is a post that I thought might be useful to millions of office goers who, coincidentally, have nothing else on their minds too. I conjured up a list, in no particular order, of the 10 most imaginative pieces of song writing that lyricists in the Hindi film industry have been able to come up with. If any of these songs are your favorites or this post hurts your sentiments in any way, I might add a short disclaimer – no offence meant. There.

10. Who can drive audiences crazy with just a doff of his cap ? Who can put tenors to shame and single handedly divert millions of dollars in to otolaryngology research ? Please put your hands, mikes, caps and nasal polyps together for aapro very own Himess Bhai in this particularly brilliant song which goes like this.

“(Female voice)Ladies and gentlemen, here’s presenting a philosophical research that has been conducted on mangoes, incorporating in it romance, humour and fun

(Himesh starts belting, you start getting goose pimples…)

Jab tum jaati ho” (hundreds of goose pimples),

Jaldi nahi aati ho” (millions of goose pimples),

I miss you baby” (gazillions..shudder)

Like mango” (epileptic fits, like Purbi Joshi in this video..watch it watch it)

9. This song, by a lyricist who went by the name of Sameer, and epitomized the whole pen is mightier than the sword cliche. Ever heard of a film called ‘Josh’ in which Shahrukh Khan and Aishwarya Rai play siblings ? There is a song in it which starts off like this:

Kitna pyaara hai ye pyaar… Pyaara Pyaara” (Yes yes, take that Himesh)

Hua hai pehli baar, hota hai ek baar, phir na hoga…ye dobara” (Take that Mills & Boon)

Hai mera dil, churaake le gaya, churaane wala…mera kaatil

If you admit to liking this song, and if I know you personally, I don’t blame you at all. Opposites attract they say, quite unlike Aishwarya Rai and Chandrachud Singh.

8. One of my personal favorites. If ever you fall madly in love with a girl and she hates the very sight of you, this song will certainly help woo her, Bollywood style. Because this is how Sanjay Kapoor wooed Juhi Chawla in a film called Kartavya released way back in 1995. The lyrics go something like this:

Tum tunak tuna tum tunak too…Tum tunak tuna tum tunak too

Pyaar mein dil ka murga bole kukdoo koo…” (take a pause to reflect, ladies and gentlemen)

…I love you” (It rhymes !!)

…Tujhpe meri Aashiqui ka, chal gaya jadoooooo” (and Again !!)

If these lyrics are not enough for you and your lady love, why don’t you include the interlude by the eunuchs in the song too. For further details, watch the video. Your love life will be certainly better off for it, I guarantee.

7. Ever used “hmm” as fillers when you didn’t know the exact lyrics of a particular song ? Or used “something” as a filler ? Well Mika created an entire song out of fillers, titled, not surprisingly, “Something Something“. Don’t ask me what to do if you forget the lyrics of this song too, which by the way, go like this.

Tell me something, meri jaan…kar le humse ek baar…pyaar ki meethi baatein chaar…o soniye..sun le tu

Something something….something somethinggggguuu

Short disclaimer before watching this video though – blog writer is not liable for damage incurred due to jaws dropping to the floor. A certain hottie named Urvashi Sharma stars in it.

6. Certain ardent followers of Indian music and travelers in Indian auto-rickshaws will bemoan the absence of a certain gentleman’s songs. Worry no more, for, what Urvashi Sharma did for your heart; Altaf Raja can do for your mind. The lyrics of this song are from a film called Chandaal released in 1998 and starring the ‘gareebon ka Amitabh‘ (the Amitabh of the poor) aka Prabhu Ji aka Shankar aka Truck Driver Sooraj aka Cheetah aka Jimmy aka the one and only Mithun Da.

The lyrics.

Kar lo pyaar kar lo pyaar kar lo pyaar kar lo pyaar” (Make love 4 times)

Pyaar gazab ki cheez hai padh lo aaj subah ka parcha” (Love is a wonderful thing, read today’s newspaper)

Pyaar karoge muft mein ho jayega yaaro charcha” (Making love can make you the subject of discussion for free..hmm)

5. People have told me that the following song has far deeper meaning attached to it. What a bunch of conspiracy theorists ! As far as I know, this song has been recommended as mandatory listening to apprentice locomotive mechanics of the Indian Railways for quite some time. From Andaz, and starring Anil Kapoor and Juhi Chawla, sample the lyrics and tell me if you disagree.

(Female) Main maal gaadi tu Dhakka lagaa…dhakka laga re dhakka laga

Garam ho gaya engine iska, dhakka deta jaaa..

(interlude)

Waqt hai kum aur lamba safar hai, tu raftaar badha de

Manzil par, humein pahucha de

4. Ever faced a situation where you wrote whatever fluff came to your mind in one of those Civic Sciences examinations in school because you didn’t remember anything that made even remote sense to the 10 mark-answer-in-brief question being asked, and yet scraped by in that exam? Here then, is the Hindi musical equivalent of that wrote-whatever-I-remembered-and-yet-passed kind of effort. From Muqabla (1993), starring Govinda and Karishma, no less. Also an excuse for doing Mass P. T. exercises whenever you go to a hill station – watch the video for a better understanding.

Dil tera hai deewana, aiyaiyo aiyaiyo

Mana ye maine maana, aiyaiyo aiyaiyo

Tu haseen…Main Jawaan..Hosh mujhko hai kaha

Aanaji hosh mein aana…aiyaiyo aiyaiyo Aiyyo

3. Ila Arun. Eponymous with raunchy and raspy, hoarse, moaning voices. Big self-professed fan I am. That is why one entry of an Ila Arun song will not do justice to her talent.

Be it “Masti ka alam aya hai, masti ko saath mein laya hai, masti mein kar le baatein..do do aaj” (from Auzaar: the only instance in an Indian film when the hero – Salman wore lesser clothes than the heroine- Shilpa Shetty) or “Haath mein botal, gale mein gulbandh bolo kaha gaye the” or the record breaking 3453 moaning sounds in one song “Nigodi kaisi jawani hai, baat sune na meri“. Ila Arun is unbeatable.

2. Mithun Da makes a re-entry in this list, cavorting with Rambha in what appears to be a top designed to resemble tutti frutti laden whipped cream from afar, in a song from the critically acclaimed Jallad (1993), with a song that goes like this.

Chinai Chun Chun..Chinai Chun Chun” (Ancient Cantonese script found on a stone in Ooty)

Kya kehti hai Chinai Chun Chun

Dil ki dhadkan Chinai Chun Chun

Kya kehti hai dil ki dhadkan, dilbar mere sun Chinai Chun Chun

Real catchy song this one. No, serious.

1. Allegedly written by a secret agent in the days of the cold war and still containing encrypted words that spawned the Transformers series, inspired a certain gentleman to write a potboiler on the bloodline of Christ and was used as an examination question for aspiring intelligence agents is a song that by and large went unnoticed in the 1990s. Innocuously going by the title of “LML Baba LML“, sung by Alisha Chinai with Anu Malik adding extra flavor, or should we say extra 512-bit encryption, the lyrics went something like this:

LML Baba LML, Hone de baba LML..Shaam Subah LML, Saato Din LML, Sunday to Monday LML, Monday to Sunday LML” (Alice sends Bob a message encrypted with her private key)

LML ? Kya hota hai LML” (Bob asks Alice for her private key)

Let Me Love Babe…Don’t feel shy Babe” (Alice hints that Bob should use his own key and should not feel shy about it)

“GTH Baba GTH, Hone de baba GTH..Shaam Subah GTH, Saato Din GTH, Sunday to Monday GTH, Monday to Sunday GTH” (Bob unlocks the message using his public key, saves the world from a dystopian future and rides off into the sunset with Alice)

That’s all folks, till the next time at least.

P. S. By no means an exhaustive list.

P. P. S. Feel free to write in with your comments on what your favorite lyrics are. Don’t feel shy.

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13 thoughts on “An idle brain on Youtube

  1. Dear Blogger, some of us belong to a generation which could not get the privilege to experience this class of Bollywood talent (or were not enlightened enough at the time of release of these songs).
    Thanks a lot, keep blogging, would like to hear the stories of some classic movies in your words, you know which movies I am talking about 🙂

    Like

    1. Anuj,
      With great shoulders come great responsibilities (and some great women too)
      Enlightenment will dawn, rest assured.

      Peace.

      -Rahul

      Like

    2. You managed to spread a smile on my face after a pretty boring day with this amazing article. Be it Ila Arun’s reverberating secstatic voice or the catchy gibberish, Bollywood movie makers certainly knew the meaning of the term ”oxymoronic”

      Like

      1. Sudeep,

        Ila Arun ensured a lot more was spread through her videos too. And our film makers certainly know a lot about Innuendos too.
        😛

        Cheers,
        Rahul

        Like

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